So I know I don't post much...life gets in the way. Same excuse I use for working out and getting fit. With school starting back in 3 weeks my life this past month has slowly become more consumed with my classroom and decorating. I soooo wish I could spend a fortune on my room and decorate it the way I want.
However, teaching at the same building with the same teachers has it's benefits. I've learned soooo much about myself in the past 6 years teaching. And some of the teachers have helped me realize some deep stuff about myself, through my reflective teaching.
I am very much a reflective teacher and often first assume that the problem lies within me. Which is a good thing, to an extent. It's always best to first look within when confronted with a problem instead of automatically thinking there's something wrong with the kids or that they just weren't listening (unless it's a full moon ... then it HAS to be the kids' fault. I kid...kinda, haha). But it also backfires on me and that's where my coworkers step in. I often use them as resources or sound boards when I'm stumped or have a new idea. One of my coworkers knows me well and knows when I'm being too hard on myself. She reminds me to stop and look at the situation from a "different lens" or she'll flat out tell me that my self-expectations are unrealistic. I think everyone needs someone like that. I'm getting off track - oops.
I know they say running is a mental sport. 80% mental, 20% training..or something like that. I feel for me it is definitely a mental game. I find it a good therapy session ... although I'm kinda leery of what is going to happen when I get to longer runs because just within the 30 minutes I'm on the road now, I come home with my mind reeling and confused and set and ready for new goals and frustrated and makes me want to run more (or drink). I know I'm hard on myself. When I was running more consistently to prep for my first 5k, I was on fire. And it lasted a little bit. When I started running again, I was disappointed in how hard it was again. I was frustrated that I couldn't run what I was running. I'm not talking about running an 8min mile like I did in high school. I'm talking about not being able to run a mile, like I did a month prior. I would get mentally defeated and hate running because I knew I wouldnt be as successful as I was. Yeah, lame, but it's true. I started c25k again and even THAT frustrated me. Again, just being hard on myself and unrealistic expectations. I would even get upset that it was making me upset. I'd be frustrated that I mentally wasn't willing to push through it all when I knew I could at the time.
Stay tuned for Part 2 where I delve into where I'm at now...will post it in the AM. I know you're dieing to hear the rest of my head-drama.
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